They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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