I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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