am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize