I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
