i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
