God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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