Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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