And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The struggles of a small town man whore
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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