So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You are the jesus of drinking
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
