One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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