Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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