my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
