I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
