Your dad touched me again.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
