can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
