All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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