Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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