how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She told me I should be a condom model.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
