You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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