38 yer olds are good kisserssss
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
