i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
