i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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