I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
