I must be too annoying 4 u.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize