I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
