I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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