i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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