i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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