They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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