No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
