i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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