you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
