So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Buhtt sex?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
