JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
