Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
