if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
