it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
