I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
