Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
