What a fucking waste of an outfit
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
