Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
