I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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