either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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