She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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