Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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