I'm going to jail i love you
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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