A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
