I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
