He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
