I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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