I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
