That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
