This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
