Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
