Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
