The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
