Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I will pee on everything he values.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
