Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
