Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize